Dreaming of Vacation

Our family is not a vacation family. Every February for the past 5 years I have said the same thing: maybe next February we'll go someplace warm. I now say it again. February is a long short month.

Our family's making a choice right now- you know, investing in the family and all of that. It's good and it's where we want to be. Really. Money's tight but we are doing what we need to to make this work. It usually works for us.

Except sometimes I want to go on vacation. Our last vacation as a family was 4 and a half years ago. We went to the White Mountains in New Hampshire for a week and spent a couple of days playing in the most amazing rocky river ever. It was so lovely. Relaxing and full of each other.

When I was a kid we spent 2 weeks a summer on a little pond in Eastham, MA (on Cape Cod). We'd have long days at the ocean and even longer days never leaving the water of the pond. Those 2 weeks were like 2 months. My mom might say otherwise. She and my Dad were the ones dealing with the operational side of the vacation. But as kids, it was pure heaven.

Over the past few summers we have had a good number of days playing in the surf on the coast of Maine and lounging on the shores of some really breathtaking lakes. Those are like mini vacations.

Today I am longing for days spent together in vacation mode. I wonder what we can do on a dime to get that feeling now. All of my vacation memories have to do with water and time. We are going to make some more of that happen in 2007. We are.

We are... and next February, we're headed someplace warm- even for a few days.

For You

A Wish List For You:

That you never ruin a batch of brownies by greasing the pan with rancid Crisco.

That you never stumble to answer the question "What is a booby?"

That an (all but) virtual stranger a friend will send you beautiful baubles.

That you never realize at 11:15 pm that you forgot to shower (again).

That your choice to walk to the bus stop when it's -7 (with the wind chill) instead of taking the car doesn't backfire and you don't end up with 3 wicked sad kids before 8 am.

That when you go to bed dreaming of a snow day, you'll awaken to a day of blankets, snow forts, and hot cocoa.

How ARE you?

Revealing Inadequacies

Yesterday I went to church alone. This doesn't happen very often. When I go, it's usually with the whole family. I spend a good portion of the time juggling books and silent toys in effort to ensure that the Punks aren't disturbing out neighbors, or wisking a noisy kid off to the cry room when it just isn't working. Although I am not able to focus on every word, I leave still feeling as though it was an hour well spent. I am comforted by the predictable rhythm of the mass. Oh, and I love me a good hymn.

On occasion I go to an evening mass alone. I sink into the rhythm and immerse myself in the rituals. It's quiet and my mind responds as you may or may not expect. As a stay at home mom there is very little quiet in my life. During mass I spend a good deal of time assessing where I am and how I am doing- my mind races.

Lately it seems during this time that all of my inadequacies are revealed.

By communion I am more often than not a bit weepy. In fact, my priest has commented on several different occasions that it must be a terrible cold I have.

We have only been a part of this community for a little over 2 years. It is strange to attend mass when I cherish being a part of the community yet when I am there I sink into the solitude. Today I feel a bit torn between wanting to go alone and work through this stuff and at the same time wanting to go with the family and relish the familiar and comforting rituals.


Just what I am thinking about.