I am trying to get my groove on- or back- or whatever.
I, like the 3 small ones in my house, am sick again. It's viral pharyngitis. A sore throat. Which describes perfectly the fire that has been burning in my throat for the past 5 days. Who names these things? If it were me this would be double diagnosis of viral throatonfiritis with a little can'tstayawakus. The kids are just wrapping up some spring colds, and they each have a lingering cough. No Big.
On another medical front I have been preoccupied by the idea of living without a uvula. A possible treatment for sleep apnea involves a uvulopalatopharyngoplasty. Now this sounds like a great way to spend a day, no?
The real question is, can I lead a long and fulfilling life without my uvula?
Saturday, April 12, 2008
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From Saturday Night Live, circa 1977:
Babs' Uvula
Sister..... Laraine Newman
Babs..... Gilda Radner
Doctor..... Chevy Chase
[ open on National Uvula association flash card ]
Announcer: And now, a public service dramatization from the National Uvula Association.
[ dissolve to Babs and her sister sitting in their living room ]
Sister: Gee, Babs, you look like something the cat just dragged in.
Babs: I know. I feel crummy. But I just can't seem to put my finger on what's wrong.
Sister: That's too bad, Babs. Has it ever dawned on you that it just may be your uvula?
Babs: Gee, no, Sis.. I must have stupidly glossed right over my uvula.
Sister: I had a hunch you might've. That's why I made an appointment for you with a top uvula specialist. [ doorbell rings ] Who makes house calls! Right now!
[ Doctor enters the living room ]
Doctor: Hello, I'm the doctor.
Sister: Hi.
Babs: That must be him! [ coughs ]
[ Doctor sits next to Babs on the couch ]
Doctor: I won't beat around the bush, Babs.
Babs: Is it bad?
Doctor: In a nutshell, your uvula is on the fritz. Which reminds me of a little joke. Knock knock!
Babs: Who's there?
Doctor: Babs' uvula.
Babs: Babs' uvula who?
Doctor: I don't know, Babs. But I do know this - you've really let your uvula go to the dogs.
Babs: Yes.. I have..
Sister: I'd like to share this with you, Sis. [ opens a greeting card ] "To Babs: It'll behoove ya', to care for your uvula! Love, Sis."
Babs: Boy, do I hear ya', Sis! From now on, it's strictly good, clean fun. For me and my uvula!
Doctor: That reminds me of a little joke. Knock knock!
Announcer: Who's there?
[ Doctor, Babs and her sister laugh at the surprise interruption ]
Announcer: The preceding dramatization was brought to you by the National Uvula Association.
You could probably find a support group for people who've lost their uvulas. You'll need a sponser though. Hope you (and the lil 'uns) feel better soon.
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