Saturday, February 23, 2008


I have written a lot of words about the importance of friendship. About moms needing moms and women needing women. I've also expended a lot of calories cultivating friendships. They are important. I would be less than me without them.

Having ended my 36th year I wonder if it is a universal truth that there is a segment of a woman's psyche that simply never graduates from grade school. A particle of insecurity and self-consciousness that becomes trapped inside every interaction. I know it's possible, but is it common for women to maintain bonds that aren't cluttered with doubts?

Lack of Communication is a surly beast. It slithers into relationships and entangles itself withing the limbs of security and honesty. It compromises the stability of the bonds that are growing. It makes it difficult to develop in good health. It makes it difficult to want to. The strongest of us can not always quiet the beast. We require rest.

Friendship takes energy. On the planet of Parenthood and Marriage, energy is not found in abundance. It is expected that within a relationship that energy will ebb and flow from one partner to another. It is true and right. And the bond of friendship necessitates honesty and clarity. That is true and right. And we are hiding in the girls bathroom avoiding the cafeteria because we are unsure and lonely. And that is true and wrong.

It's true that moms need moms and women need women. And Oscar Wilde said, "The truth is rarely pure and never simple."


InTheFastLane said...

When I moved here from California, it took me some time to create friendships. Luckily I have a huge in-law family that helped. But, there were so many already established friendships that I did feel a little like I was back in school, being the new kid and not wanting to intrude.

I do now have a large group of friends and a smaller group of "good" friends. But, I have to say that I don't always have the energy beyond the other things I have going on. But, it is nice to know they are there.

Meg said...

I do have friendships that are sustained with absolutely no effort. These are my long term distant friends who I will always cherish, but don't come into play in the day to day.

It's the ones that you do see often, that do take energy and effort and desire to sustain. Those are the ones that leave so many women hiding in the girl's bathroom.