Wednesday, February 27, 2008

He ain't dead yet...

Yesterday I wrote today's post for GNMParents. It was fun to put into words what I've been feeling for the past few weeks. Energized. Thankful. Creative. Example: for months I have been thinking of buying wall stickery things that said "Scatter Kindness." Instead, I made something. And it feels good.

Yesterday was a landmark for my husband. He is now 1 day older than any Hatch male in at least 2 generations. His heart is healthy and his biggest risk factor is his history. Did I mention that he's 37 years 4 months and 11 days old?

This part is disgusting. It's hard to confess. I've known about his dad and grandfather forever, and so I regularly entertain thoughts of becoming a widow. I have for years. Where would we live? What completely inappropriate thing would I say? Who would drive his car? How many fewer load of laundry would I have to do every week? Would I still eat dinner sitting with my kids at the table? Would I have to shop for black things? Who would I call? What would I say? How would I be?

Would I ever bury the darkness?


It's not so much entertaining as contemplating. I love him. Enough that I can never actually answer any of those questions. They just float around. Like specks of dust.

I'll tell you one thing I would do: I'd use the insurance money to hire someone to clean my house. (That was a joke). I am happy that he made it to today. (That was an understatement).

Seriously, I got pretty sappy about him here. And then more recently I was bragging all about us here. I already said that I love him. I guess there's only one thing left to say:

Hey Rob, I'm glad you aren't dead. Mwah.

1 comment:

Rob said...

OK, so it's one day later and I hadn't even read this post because, well because.
And while my heart seems fine, my freakin' mind is shot, because I didn't remember ever reading the post in 2006, which apparently I did because I left a loving comment.
Yup, we have held this day out as a marker for a long time. Not dead yet...Sweeeet! Um, still not....nope still here....yup, still tickin'.
OK well, back to work. Glad you're glad, and about the life insurance for a cleaning person. I will sleep with one eye open.