Monday, August 14, 2006


Are you bored yet? I am tired of writing and feeling down about myself, and of my fear of not succeeding, and of worrying about coming in last or not finishing the Wildbear.
I've been struggling to get over the mental hurdles. This here post is another step in that direction.

In no particular order here are some thoughts that are pulling me up:

  1. Aidan told me last night that he wants his next post to be about exercise. He and Clay both ran around the block with me last night before my run. Aidan seemed fascinated by his sweat and his racing heart. After my run he raced around the house, first 6 laps, then 5, then 10. I timed him. He talked about how good he felt all night. My kids are learning from my actions.
  2. John "the Penguin" Bingham continues to use run/walk intervals.
  3. This Runners World article was very reassuring.
  4. The way that I perform in this race will not be the way that I perform in the same race next year.
  5. I'm doing it.
  6. I just read Will (the race director's) blog, he wrote:
    After the morning meeting, we shot up to Range Pond for a site visit... Seeing the park in the summertime today reaffirmed my initial belief that this is one of the best possible venues for a race. Our goal for this week is to begin marketing the heck out of it around Portland and try to get as many first-timers as possible. I have to admit, though, there is one hill on the bike course that is a beast. The course map and elevation chart will be posted on the website in the next few days.
  7. I might have to rest during the hill. SO WHAT? It really is a scary hill... it's not just me. It's a freakin' beast.
  8. Someone has to finish last. If it's me this year, then maybe next year it won't be.
  9. It's only exercise. I am doing now what I wasn't doing last year. I feel better than I did last year. I gripe about not loving exercise, but I have had some moments on the bike that I have really enjoyed. What I thought might never happen has... I've come to really need exercise. My body will eventually catch us and show improvement.
  10. Have I mentioned my kids?
  11. Last, but never least, could my husband BE more supportive?
Thanks for sticking through my self-pity and blah, blah, blah. Your comments rock.

I think I'm back!


Miss Jenny said...

You go girl! The down moments are inevitable, but what really matters is that you get re-focused and back on an optimistic and determined track. And you sound fiercely determined!!

Wanna-be 5k-er said...

I know what you mean about the doubts. But your reasons for feeling UP about what you do are great ones.

And that RW article made me feel better, too. Thanks for the link, GL with your race (and the hill), and you should be commended for just getting out there and doing it.

Go get 'em!

Rob said...

You are back! Although, you really never left, because even through all the self doubt, you persevered (take a look back at your training schedule).

Tonight we tackle "The Beast" together and we will tame it.

Congratulations on digging deep, finding inspiration and sharing it.

AmyEllen16 said...

Can not tell you how proud I am and you haven't even done the race. You are a dedicated person with a lot of will to suceed. You will suceed and have already. You are a great role model for your children and other newbies. I wish you the best.

Flatman said...

You are doing fine. The best way to tame those hills are to do them again and again. Remember to spin! Use your lowest gear if you have to. :) Good luck!

Wes said...

Bingham also says if you strap on your shoes and show up at the starting line, you are a winner. It's not about the race, its about the journey. You need to be comfortable with your decisision and their outcomes before they happen. Too many people think there is shame in walking during a race. Screw them. I would crawl during a race if I had to.

Ed said...

Hey Meg - I enjoyed reading your post today. That thing about your kids - golden. If you think in terms of legacy, what better thing could you give them, o.k. several million dollars maybe, but your running bug is a close second!

Michelle said...

You're wonderful, put away the self-doubt. Here you are doing all these great things that deserve PRAISE. You're going to have a blast at the race: relax, go with it, and HAVE FUN!

Veeg said...

Hey, Meg

Thanks for stopping by the blog. It sounds like you're in a pretty typical headspace leading up to a race.

Whether you finish or not, is really beside the point. Think of all the people who never even make it to the starting line!

You are strong. You will become stronger. And that happens when you continue to get back up.

You're doing AWESOME!

LBTEPA said...

Hi Megin
I love your blog! You have the same thought processes I do! And good on you for finding a goal and working toward it. Remember that complaining is very important as it helps us work through our fears.
Re run: walk - I started 1min run and 4 walk 2 and a half years agao. Last year I did a half-marathon using 7 run: 1 walk. This year I'm going to try and run the whole way (half marathon) but I needed to build up the base using walk-run. I love the Penguin - I'm in an online running group and have a Penguin as my avatar b/c I just keep waddling along at the back until I get there!
anyway this has got very long but I just wanted to say how pleased I was to find your blog as you are a beginner too (some of those superwoman blogs ARE very discouraging)